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June 8th, 2006

03:33 pm - HEHEHEHEHEHEHE Your Bumper Sticker Should Be Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things What Bumper Sticker Should Be On Your Car? Current Location: Work Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Leon Lai - Sorry, I Love You Tags: blogthings

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03:31 pm - Ugh, So Sleepy Your Love Style is Agape You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner. Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare. You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie. Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you. For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love. What's Your Love Style? Current Location: Work Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - I Won't Back Down Tags: blogthings

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03:26 pm - I'm REALLY in Over My Head Particularly lately. It's all a big mental mess upstairs. Yup, I'm in over my head... Someone needs to be in over their heads about me! Why should I be the only one who has to suffer, dammit?! Cable Car (Over My Head) by the Fray I never knew I never knew that everything was falling through That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue To turn and run when all I needed was the truth But that's how it's got to be It's coming down to nothing more than apathy I'd rather run the other way than stay and see The smoke and who's still standing when it clears and Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind Let's rearrange I wish you were a stranger I could disengage Just say that we agree and then never change Soften a bit until we all just get along But that's disregard You find another friend and you discard As you lose the argument in a cable car Hanging above as the canyon comes between and Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on And suddenly I become a part of your past I'm becoming the part that don't last I'm losing you and its effortless Without a sound we lose sight of the ground In the throw around Never thought that you wanted to bring it down I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind Everyone knows She's on your mind Everone knows I'm in Over my head I'm in over my head I'm over my Everyone knows I'm in Over my head Over my head With eight seconds left in overtime She's on your mind She's on your mind Current Location: Work Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: The Fray - Cable Car (Over My Head) Tags: song of the day

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11:31 am - Relaxed and Calm? I'm High-Strung! Your Emoticon is Cool You're not feeling particularly up or down, just relaxed and calm. You're ready for whatever is going to happen next! What Emoticon Best Represents You Right Now? Current Location: Work - Slacking Off Current Mood: anxious Current Music: Recording of Stinkin' Minutes... YUCK Tags: blogthings

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11:29 am - Yeah, Baby! You Are a German Shepherd Puppy Intelligent, quick witted, and a bit aggressive. You've got the jaw power to take a bite out of anyone you choose. What Breed of Puppy Are You? Current Location: Work - Slacking Off Current Mood: lethargic Current Music: Recording of Stinkin' Minutes... YUCK Tags: blogthings

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June 1st, 2006

12:21 am - Repost from CCDrkNrgy Wow, it's been a while since I've written.  I went to Fresno over Memorial Day weekend to visit Guido.  The 3 hour ride took about 5 hours because of heavy traffic.  From there, my astringent spilled all over my bag, there was no coffee place for hours during the drive there, I cut my hand washing a knife, I got lost driving home because there's no signs telling you where the routes are and I got pulled over for crossing a double yellow line I didn't see!  Overall, I'm convinced I have horrible luck.  The patrolman said if it had been the day before or the day after, he would have let me off with a warning... unfortunately they had had a meeting that morning where the captain told them no warnings or breaks for anyone.  I hate Memorial Day.  He did try to comfort me, though, after I told him I almost drove to Yosemite.  He asked me when was the last time I was pulled over.  When I told him 2000-2001, he said it wasn't a problem; I could just go to traffic school to have it removed from my record, and I can actually do it online.  I don't even have to do it all in one go!  I can just do whatever increments I want just as long as I finish by the due date.  That sorta makes me feel better, but still... it's a bit unnerving to get pulled over after being lost for about an hour. I just looked at someone's demo reel from sci-fi meshes.com.  It was alright, except I don't know if 360-degree rotations actually count as an animation demo.  The explosions and fire were cool, and I like some of the Star Trek Enterprise animation, but the slideshow/sping things weren't very impressive.  Most of his artwork looked cookie cutter, too.  I mean, they're GOOD... much better than I can do at this moment... but at the same time, they don't look any different from any of the other 3D graphics I've seen.  Are they ALL supposed to be cookie cutter?  When I finish this degree, am I going to end up cookie cutter like them?  I hope not.  My drawing/artwork may be sort of cookie cutter, but hopefully by the time I'm done with this, I will have found myself, and my artwork will become the opposite of what it is now.  In the meantime, I just got my username/password in my email for my classes, but unfortunately I can't use it until the first day of class.  Another textbook came in the mail today, and I mailed off my financial aid loan agreement yesterday.  I only have one more book to go and a few supplies and I'll be all ready for summer and fall terms.  Fortunately the big animation supplies aren't necessary until fall, so I have a bit of time to find another temp job and save up some money for school.  I'm not gonna make it. Shoot me... shoot me now. Current Location: Home Current Mood: tired Current Music: Radio Commerical

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May 21st, 2006

10:16 pm - Preparation for School Ok, I've purchased most of my supplies, my books have been ordered, I've finished the orientations and signed the papers. I also downloaded Truespace 3 and Blender, because a poster from scifi-meshes.com suggested I widdle around with them before I start school. Not only do I have to read all these books, but now I'm going to have to finish Darth Puter and widdle around with the software in less than a month! Oy veh! When I watched the orientation, they mentioned a midpoint review. I didn't know there was going to be a midpoint review! OH NO! Getting through the program was bad enough, but to get through a midpoint review just to keep going? Then someone on CGTalk.com posted students had to do a lot of outside work to keep up with the VFX program. Hey, I'm doing the VFX program! I'm going to be working during the day! GAH! How am I supposed to get through all this stuff and work at the same time? Someone please shoot me! How about take my place as I crawl into a cave and hide there? Nerves shot, nerves shot, nerves shot... Current Location: Home Current Mood: nervous Current Music: MTV - Nothing on TV

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May 16th, 2006

03:59 pm - Crap Symposium Piccies Bad photographers should be outlawed! I'm updating the website for work, and the people in most of the pictures look stoned, drunk or like deer staring at headlights. There's even a picture of a speaker sitting in the audience with NOTES on his hand! He's a doctor, for Pete's sake! There IS such a thing as INDEX CARDS, sheesh! There's a picture of me in one of them, and I'm just glad I don't look as fat as I used to be. Did I mention I was bloated that day? Damn time of the month! Here, I'll post it in this entry. There's me ugly mug. You may throw up at your own leisure. I can't work under these conditions! I could grab a disposable camera and take much better pictures. What a crap pro. Current Location: Work Current Mood: tired Current Music: R.E.M. - Bang and Blame Tags: rant

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09:21 am - Update... Wow, I haven't updated here in a while! My relatives are here until Friday, which means I get to sleep on a lousy mattress in the breakfast nook... again. My stupid sister woke me up by walking on the mattress just to get a stupid lunch bag (hey, dumbass! There's one on the fucking piano!) and instant coffee (Hello! Ever hear of something called Folgers?!). On the other hand, I woke up to find a cup of hot coffee on the counter, and my mom usually just puts a spoonful of Folgers and a spoonful of brown sugar into a cup. Ok, she's forgiven. Thanks for the coffee, sis. Note to self: post above update in my ccdrknrgy journal. Despite the "Oh fuck it. I'm a no-talent hack!" belief/inferiority complex, it looks like I've been accepted into the Masters program. Yes, I still have a strong urge to set fire to my portfolio. Fire is fun, especially when it's burning crap. I was completely shocked to find out. Wanna know how I actually found out? Well, I'll tell ya. I received an email in my Yahoo bulk mail folder (thank goodness I actually check the damn thing just in case!) from someone named Yuting Yip(?) telling me to pick up my portfolio, as it's sitting in some office. I thought, "Huh?", particularly because the salutation was, "Dear Graduate Student". Once again I thought, "Huh?" It wasn't one of those exclamation huh's; it was more of a dumbfounded, confused thought. Upon considering the email might have been a mistake, or the email was telling me I'm a no-talent hack who's been rejected, I called my good admissions coordinator, Eve. She had no clue why I received said email, and nobody had given her an update. We contemplated that perhaps wires had been crossed. She told me she'd call me back and went off to find out what was going on. Less than 5 minutes later, she calls me back to tell me I've been accepted. I spent 20 minutes registering for summer AND fall as well as paying for said registration. The damn thing cost me $240 for both semesters! And that's how I found out. This past weekend, I received my acceptance letter and new student packet. Sheesh! Currently I'm looking at purchasing the supplies I need for both terms just to get them out of the way. With the supplies, registration fees AND computer parts, I'm going to be broke! I'm going to dress in all black and literally mourn the death of my bank account. Oh poor bank account, you had a full life until I decided to go back to school. Thank goodness for my tax refund. No wonder why I have to keep working. Thank goodness for NEXT YEAR's taxes and itemised deductions! With my computers, art supplies, medical expenses ($1800 for 72 lousy hours in the looney bin only to be weirded out by the drugged schizophrenics), I should be rolling in next year's refund. Oh, wait... there's also the insurance premiums, bus fare, student loan interest and cell phone. Yay, next year's tax refund. Calgon, take me away! P.S. Scifi-meshes.com died this past weekend due to a corrupted hard drive on the server. All data is gone, so if anyone wants to post on the forums, you'll have to re-register. I already did. Current Location: Work Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Eddie Izzard - Monkeys and Guns (FUNNY STUFF!) Tags: art, school, supplies

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May 10th, 2006

11:52 am - Vampirism I love Eddie Izzard! I posted this on the IMDB message board, when someone said the world would be 100,000,000x better if we all followed Jesus and his teachings. From Circle: Let's flip back to God, who has a second go at making things. And He makes the human beings and he puts them on the Earth. But they start to worship false idols and cows made out of gold. So he says to Jesus, (James Mason) "Jesus, you've got to go down there and you've got to set up a new bit of Me religion. Supposed to be a Me religion. They're worshiping cows who eat their own sick. I don't eat my own sick!" "Yes you do, but before it becomes sick!" "All right, that's a technicality. Now just get on down there and don't take any of that Pagan shit going on. All right?" He comes back 33 years later, "You bastard! They treated me worse than the fucking dinosaurs! God damn it! They didn't cut my head off, but they nailed me to a tree for three days!" "Well I'm sorry, I didn't know…" "You knew all the time! Opposable thumbs! You knew they've got hammers. They're fucking twisted, this lot!" "Well, what happened?" "Well I went down and told them to hang out. I got some fisherman to help me, and that was crap because they were all hippie fisherman, going 'I converted someone to Christianity, they were this big. I thought it was that big. Oh, it got away!' And the rich came up to me saying they wanted to get into the kingdom of heaven. I said, well, it's easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into the kingdom of heaven." "That was pretty surreal of you." "Yeah, well, I'd been smoking a bit that day. But the rich, they got huge blenders and put camels into them and made them into liquid camel, and then they squirted them with very fine jets through the eyes of needles. So they're all coming up now. And then I did the last supper, and I gave them some wine and I said, "Drink this wine; it is my blood." "You said what?" "I said, "Drink this wine; it is my blood. I was trying to make it a ceremony." "But that's vampirism! Vampiric thing, drink my blood. You've got Pagan things right there on day one of the new religion!" "Oh, sorry." "Why didn't you say, 'Drink this wine; it's a Merlot?'" "Oh, yeah." "Did you say anything else?" "What do you mean?" "Well, after the wine thing, did you say anything else that might have screwed things up… for ever and ever?" "No." "Nothing at all?" "No." "Nothing about bread?" "Yes." "What did you say?" "Well, I said, 'Eat this bread; it is my… favourite!' because it was hot, so they had all those crinkly bits in it, and I loved it and… All right, 'I said it was my body,' OK?" "That's… that's cannibalism! You have got vampirism and cannibalism right at the beginning! Oh, Gee! And you died on Easter, the biggest pagan ceremony in the history of ever! (losing it a bit) You're going to celebrate the year of your death in a different year each year! Depending on where the moon is, for God's sake! If they don't work out that's pagan I'll just eat my hat." "Dad, don't worry. No one's going to work it out for 2000 years... until a transvestite points it out in New York!" "Oh, all right." "Well, what would you have done?" "I would have done cheese and wine. Cheese and wine go together better. Eat this cheese, it is my body…" "But it's Judea, Dad. Cheese melts." "All right: eat this cheese it is my central nervous system, all right? All right, all right, listen to this: eat these chicken drumsticks; they are my legs. Eat these carrots; they are my arms. Eat this tomato; it is my head. And eat these oysters; they are my kneecaps." "If you do that, Dad, your holy communion is going to have priests going round with lots of trays going, 'Who ordered the body of Christ, then?'" And here's another one... because it's funny: So, uh, yeah, but the Deathstar, the one thing about the Deathstar is that there was no food. No one had food at all. No food at all! No one said, "Hey, Darth Vader, Emperor, just nipping down to alpha beta 9. What d'you want? Couple of sarnies? Um, chicken, ham, ham, chicken, egg, what? Coke? Diet Coke? What d'you want? What d'you want? You weird bleeders!" But there must have been a Deathstar canteen, yeah? There must have been a cafeteria downstairs, in between battles, where Darth Vader could just chill and go down (Vader voice) "I will have the penne a la arabiata." (canteen server) "You'll need a tray." "Do you know who I am?" "Do you know who I am?" "This is not a game of who the fuck are you. For I am Vader. Darth Vader. Lord Vader. I can kill you with a single thought!" "Well you'll still need a tray." "No I will not need a tray. I do not need a tray to kill you. I can kill you without a tray, with the power of the Force - which is strong within me - even though I could kill you with a tray if I so wished. For I would hack at your neck with the thin bit until the blood flowed across the canteen floor…" "No, the food is hot. You'll need a tray to put the food on." "Oh I see, the food is hot. I'm sorry I, I did not realise. Hah hah! I thought you were challenging me to a fight to the death." "Fight to the death? This is canteen, I work here." "Yes, but I am Vader, I am Lord Vader. Everyone challenges me to a fight to the death. Lord Vader. Darth Vader, I am Darth Vader, Lord Vader. Sir Lord Vader, Sir Lord Darth Vader. Lord Darth Sir Lord Vader of Cheam. Sir Lord Baron von Vaderham. The Deathstar. I run the Deathstar." "What's the Deathstar?" (Darth is losing a bit of patience) "This is the Deathstar. You're in the Deathstar. I run this star." "This is a star?" "This is a fucking star - I run it. I'm your boss." "You're Mr Stephens?" "No, I'm… who is Mr Stephens?" "He's head of catering." "I'm not head of catering! I am Vader. I can kill catering with a thought." "What?" "I can kill you all. I can kill me with a thought. Just… I'll get a tray, fuck it! (Still Vader) This one's wet, and this one's wet, and this one's wet. This one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet, this one is wet. Did you dry these in a rain forest? Why, with the power of the Deathstar, do we not have a tray that is fucking dry? I do not…(someone has pushed in) No, no, no. I was here first." "You have to form a queue if you want food. Can I have, oh, penne a la arabiata, that looks nice." "No, no, no. D'you know who I am?" (server buts in) "That's Jeff Vader, that is." "I am not Jeff Vader, I am Darth Vader." "What, Jeff Vader runs the Deathstar?" "No, Jeff… No, I run the Deathstar." "You Jeff Vader?" "No, I'm Darth Vader!" "Are you his brother? Can you get his autograph?" "I can't get it… No, I'm… All right, I'm Jeff Vader! I'm Jeff Vader!" "Can I have your autograph?" "No, fuck off, or I'll kill you with a tray! Give me penne a la arabiata or you shall die. And you, and everyone in this canteen! Death by tray it shall be!" (scornful server) "Do you want peas with that?" "Peas? You don't have peas! You can't put red with…It doesn't work with penne, you don't put, unless you push them up the penne tubes, and then they'd be weird! Just…(gives up) oh, all right, put some peas on." Current Location: Work Current Mood: amused Current Music: Radio after break!

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11:39 am - Manic State Poem today! My mocha is cold I hate my job My juice is unopened I'm bored out of my mind My easel is here But no painting has started My lunch uneaten Ich bin studenten Damn, I need a smoke Thank you! Thank you! The next show is in another hour. Exits are to the left. Please tip your waitress. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college! Current Location: Work Current Mood: manic Current Music: Shit, I forgot to turn on Yahoo radio

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May 5th, 2006

04:24 pm - Programming BLOWS!!! I HATE PROGRAMMING! IT MAKES MY ASS TWITCH!!! Current Location: Work Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: Rob Thomas - Lonely No More (THIRD TIME TODAY! WTF?!) Tags: rant

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12:16 am - Hmmm Apparently people liked my raps/lyrics quite a bit.  So far I've been told I should either sell them to Eminem or enter some Wanna Be a Rapper contest on MTV.  Can you imagine me in a rap contest?  I'm a 30 yr old Chinkie!  There's no way in hell I'd win!  I can WRITE them; just don't ask me to RAP them!  That's just great... another thing people will say I should do.  That's just gonna add more mess to the already messy creative swirl.  I can write lyrics.  [SARCASM]woo hoo[/SARCASM]. At least I know what I wanna do now, which is why I've bought all these Maya and programming books.  The swirl may still be there but I'm starting to narrow it down.  I think that deserves a wee bit of credit, right? I now have 5 days left to learn Javascript.  SHIT!!! Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: Alanis Morissette - One Hand in My Pocket

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May 4th, 2006

11:08 am - Shoot Me I have 6 days to learn Javascript for a project I've been assigned, and I have to finish an article by Friday, too. My Javascript book is 10 years old, which means I have to buy a new one ASAP, read it, and learn Javascript before the deadline. At the same time, I'm not sleeping well, and I'm depressed. Talk about stress! The problem is I have to write the code for the form submission and the code for validation, not to mention testing the damn code... all in 6 days (while writing the damn article). Even the victims in Ringu got 7! Current Location: Work Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Linkin Park - Breakin' the Habit

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11:04 am - HA HA! You Should Be a Painter You have the vision, patience, and skill to bring your unique visions to canvas. And you're even tempered enough not to cut your ear off in the process! What Sort of Artist Should You Be? Current Location: Work Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Linkin Park - Breakin' the Habit Tags: blogthings

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April 30th, 2006

11:58 pm - Song of the Day It's been a while since I had one, but this one fits well. YES, it's cheesy, but it fits, ok?! Climb Every Mountain by Rogers and Hammerstein Climb ev'ry mountain Search high and low Follow every byway Every path you know. Climb ev'ry mountain Ford every stream Follow every rainbow Till you find your dream. A dream that will need All the love you can give Every day of your life For as long as you live. Climb ev'ry mountain Ford every stream Follow every rainbow Till you find your dream A dream that will need All the love you can give Every day of your life For as long as you need Climb ev'ry mountain Fold every stream Follow every rainbow Till... you... find... your...dream! Current Location: Home Current Mood: blah Current Music: My stomach growling... MEDIC! Tags: song of the day

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06:50 pm - Shopping Today I went shopping with my mom at the mall today. Jermy gave me a coupon for 30% off any book at Borders, thus I grabbed my mom and headed to the mall. I walked straight to the Computer & Technology section, because I needed a Flash 8 book to create lovely websites for a gig I might have later on. It's also good to know, if I'm going to throw in some animation into my own website someday. I HAVE the domain; I might as well use it. Shit! I need to buy another Maya book. My friend got me the wrong one, but thankfully Amazon sells them used. WOO HOO! Why am I buying all these books? It's called "catching up". If I'm going to do this thing, then it's probably best if I read all this stuff and use Darth Samurai to practice before I start, regardless of which program I join. NO ONE'S GONNA STOP ME! I don't care if I suck more balls than a Thai whore in a live donkey show! I'm still gonna do it! I'm still gonna draw/paint! I'm just not gonna show anyone any of my work ever again. Fred Astaire was rejected the first time. Van Gogh only sold one painting in his life, and that was to his BROTHER. Did that stop them? NO! It sure as hell ain't gonna stop me either! Because I'm not showing anyone any of my artwork, people will not be seeing them until after I've died. That's ok. At least there's a chance someone will like them after I'm dead, and who knows? Maybe they'll be worth something, because I'm dead. Here's hoping! Nevertheless, I'm still going after this thing. I don't care how many crappy reviews I get or how much of my artwork I burn, I'm still going to get through the program. If it didn't stop Fred, it's not gonna stop me. So there. P.S. Considering I spell like a Brit, love Celtic music, have the potty mouth of a toilet and use some Celtic words like "me blah blah" and "shite", all I need to do is drink Guiness, and I might as well be a Brit, Celtic Chinkie. That's kinda weird. Thank goodness I'm allergic to alcohol. Current Location: Home Current Mood: determined Current Music: Young Dubliners - Salvation (YAY! CELTIC ROCK!)

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April 28th, 2006

12:47 am - New Project I think I'm going to paint another painting. It's not going to be the normal stuff I usually paint; it's going to be something completely different: something in my head at this point. But I'm not going to start until I get my new easel. I HATE my easel! Note to self: buy new easel online tomorrow. I'll probably end up painting 3 paintings at the same time. Xmas is coming up, and 1-2 of them are going to another country. Current Location: Home Current Mood: tired Current Music: The voices in my head

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April 27th, 2006

12:23 am - Move Along Lyrics Move Along by All-American Rejects Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking When you fall everyone sins Another day and you've had your fill of sinking With the life held in your Hands are shaking cold These hands are meant to hold Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through Move along Move along So a day when you've lost yourself completely Could be a night when your life ends Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving All the pain held in your Hands are shaking cold Your hands are mine to hold Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through Move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on) When everything is wrong we move along (Go on, go on, go on, go on) When everything is wrong, we move along Along, along, along When all you got to keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through [x3] (Move along) (Go on, go on, go on, go on) Right back what is wrong We move along Current Location: Home Current Mood: melancholy Current Music: All-American Rejects - Move Along

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April 26th, 2006

04:22 pm - Creative Thinking Time - Yo Mamma I told this to one person and posted it on a message board today. It came to my head while I was watching the TV show: Yo mamma's so old and fat, Christopher Columbus landed on her, stuck a flag up her ass and claimed her in the name of Spain. BOO-YAH! Current Location: Work Current Mood: amused Current Music: John Mayer - Clarity

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